WHY SELF-CARE ISN'T JUST AN OVERRATED TREND

So much has been said about self-care in recent years that the term is almost losing its meaning. Even though there has been more recognition of the importance of caring for yourself, some are downright resentful over the term "self-care". Is it really such a ridiculous notion that you should take care of yourself?

It’s not, and as mothers it’s our responsibility to make sure we are taking care of ourselves, especially during times like these. Because if we don’t, who will? And if we’re not in good shape, how can we take care of others?

What is self-care even? There seem to be so many definitions. Some people argue it’s not bubble baths or chocolate cake, while others say a little indulgence is good self-care. But the definitions vary so much because self-care looks different for everyone.

At its core, though, doesn’t it make sense that self-care is simply taking care of yourself? It’s making sure that you meet your own needs, even if your needs differ from mine. However, there is one truth about self-care that is the same for all moms. For you and your family to thrive, you need to prioritize yourself.

If you need to feel pampered to recharge, then self-care should pampering for you. It's important that you honor that for yourself. But if you’re struggling every day to just to shower, I’m going to go ahead and tell you right now that those things need to be your self-care priorities.

For years I took care of myself last. And that usually meant not at all. By the time the day was over, I still had ten unfinished things on my list and was so exhausted I couldn't do anything but fall into bed, usually later than I'd planned too.

Do you know what happened when I started making a shower and other basic care a priority for myself? I found I'd accomplished a lot more that day and with consistency my weeks and months felt a lot less like I was losing the same race again and again.

Without prioritizing my shower and making myself presentable, I lose so much motivation. It’s hard to feel valuable when you don't feel good about yourself. If you don’t feel valuable, it’s really hard to justify the effort and time for basic care. It’s especially hard if you think it’s taking away from other things you need to do and other people you need to take care of.

But you are valuable. You are your most valuable asset. Since you can’t do a good job of taking care of family if you have nothing left, you need to replenish yourself so you have more to give to them. Consider it your responsibility as a mom.

You are putting space into your life by taking time for self-care. Space when you’re not in demand, which gives you a chance to reflect, think, and dream. You’re showing up for yourself, which is going to boost your confidence. Sure these and other effects might not be instant, but over time you will see a shift in your priorities, clarity, and self-worth if you regularly make time for your self-care.

And by making space for yourself, you’ll find more space opening up for your family too. You’re also telling them you are a priority, which will change their behavior towards you if you haven’t been feeling appreciated. It’s teaching your kids that other people's needs are just as important as theirs, at the same time it’s showing them to value themselves and always take care of themselves.

Besides setting an example for your kids, self-care is vital to your ability to function as a mom. You can't be emotionally available for your family if you don’t give to yourself, your patience will be less than ideal, and if you’re exhausted, you can’t be at your most caring. Meeting your own needs first lets you show up for your family and show up for them as your best self.

Taking just a few minutes a day for yourself will recharge you. Self-care alone will not solve all your problems, but it is going to set you on the right path. By recharging yourself, you’re going to give yourself strength and a fighting chance to get past your hurdles.

Caring for yourself is not indulgence. There are very few things that have the potential to have as big of an impact in your life, and that is worth at least a little of your time. You are worth a lot of your own time, but I understand you may need to start small. You are worth it; you deserve it, it’s your job, and you owe it to both yourself and your family to make you a priority.

I know firsthand how hard it is to find any time to do these things when you’re a mom, no matter what stage your kids are in. The demands on your time are unending. You need to make that shift in priorities before you’re ever going to find the time to do it. But once you change your mindset, you’ll find the time.

If you don’t give yourself, care, you will not move forward. If you can’t care for yourself, you cannot care for your family at your best. So make it happen. Give yourself a fighting chance to get control of the overwhelm so you can start thriving. Shift your mindset to make yourself a priority.